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She closed the door behind her and stuck her keys in the purse and then dug her pajamas out from the bag. Soon she was in the middle of the ultra-soft bed all by herself. When was the last time she had gone to bed and not had to worry about anyone disturbing her? If one of the kids didn't need her, then Chad did.
Guilt stabbed at her for enjoying the peace. She shoved it away. After everything she had done for everyone all those years, there was nothing wrong with taking some time to take care of herself. Even with all the stress and heartache of Macy being gone, she had still taken care of Alex, Chad, and even Zoey.
Not that she minded taking care of everyone. Even Chad, who could take care of himself. Sure, she had spent a lot of time sobbing by herself—especially in the beginning—but she had also made sure that everyone was taken care. She'd had to step it up when people stopped bringing over meals.
Alyssa had taken that as her first small sign that it was time to move on with life. Things needed to return to normal as much as possible. They were still alive, and she needed to get herself together enough to take care of her remaining child. Alex was who she had to focus on now. She needed this time to pull herself together without distraction.
Before she could focus on taking care of Alex properly, she needed to mourn Macy. She would allow herself to grieve while she had this bedroom all by herself, and then she would plan the funeral—even if it ruined her relationship with Chad. If he didn't love Alyssa enough to give her what she needed, then she didn't need him in her life anymore.
She stretched and then rolled over, spreading herself across the bed diagonally. Closing her eyes, she saw Alex's face in her mind.
Hopefully, he wouldn't be too upset over her being gone in the morning. Chad would let him know that she was safe, and with Zoey still there, he might not even notice her absence.
She would have to ask Rusty how he dealt with the loss. How on earth had he been able to move on? He seemed to be happy enough. In fact, she would have never guessed what he had been through if he hadn't told her.
Memories of Macy filled Alyssa's mind in the dark silence. Tears came. "Why did you go, Macy? Didn't you know how much losing you would kill the rest of us?" She buried her face into the pillow and sobbed. Once the tears stopped—even they had had their limit—she sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees.
It felt good to speak to Macy. If she had died like Alyssa believed, maybe Macy could even hear Alyssa speaking to her. "Macy, I hope you know how much we all love you. Did you know before you took off? Were you only planning on being gone that night? The only thing missing, aside from you, of course, was your favorite purse."
Alyssa sighed. "Was there anything we could have done differently? I would give anything to go back in time and stop you from going. Or let you go and have Zoey and Alex go with you so you wouldn't be alone for a second. Did you mean to leave us? I can't imagine that you did. I know you left that message online, but there's so much doubt around that. Most everyone thinks you were forced to write that. Were you? I hope not. More than anything, I hope not."
She squeezed her knees tighter. "It rips me apart to think about anything bad happening to you. I should have been there to protect you. I tried, I really did. I looked for you until my body hurt. I begged others to help. Your dad, he's been getting the word out on his blog nonstop. And we get along again. We're not fighting anymore, Macy. Well, not until tonight."
Fresh tears filled her eyes, thinking about her fight with Chad. "We can't agree on what to do about you. I don't know if that'll tear us apart or not. I need to give you the memorial service you deserve. What if we never find you? Are we going to never give you a proper service? That's not right. But no matter what happens, Dad and I both love you with all of our hearts. Even if we can't be together anymore." Tears dropped onto her arms.
"Though I think us not being together would hurt Alex more than you. Hopefully, you're in Heaven or someplace good. I can't imagine you going anywhere else. You're so sweet. Feisty, yes." Alyssa couldn't help smiling. "No one could ever doubt your spunk. I'll never forget how mad you got when Dad and I tried to keep you from going vegan. You weren't going to take no for an answer. And you didn't. When I saw you buying your own food, I finally caved. Remember that? I wanted to take you to the gym with me, but you were afraid you'd see kids from school there. You used Dad's weights in the garage."
Alyssa felt a wave of relief wash over her. It felt so good to talk to Macy. She really felt like her daughter could hear her. She leaned back and fell into a sleep deeper than she had experienced in a long time.
Stress
Macy listened for noise outside the bedroom. Even with her ear pressed against the door, she couldn't hear anything. She would be expected up soon, but she didn't want to see either Chester or Rebekah before she had to.
She held her breath as she opened the door, careful to lift the door up slightly at the just the right spot so it wouldn't squeak. She had managed to open it without a sound yet again. Looking down the empty hall, she pretended she was a ninja as she made her way to the bathroom.
Her leg was fine, though she never did figure out if it had been broken or sprained. It had taken about six weeks to heal, and Rebekah had said she thought that was normal for a broken bone. Macy wasn't so sure, but she was just grateful that she had been walking around for a while.
Although as soon as she could get around, Chester and Rebekah had put her to work. She had to do all kinds of housework and for whatever reason, they still had her studying the community books.
When she was done in the bathroom, she listened to see if they were awake. She'd heard them late into the night. Even though they now lived in a house with every modern convenience, that didn't keep her from hearing their newlywed activities each night.
It disgusted her, but she did her best to keep perspective. It gave her more reason to work on her plan to get out of there. Chester had the house sealed tight. Most of the windows were nailed shut or otherwise made impossible to open. The loud, ear-piercing alarm was set at all times. He hadn't even told Rebekah the code to turn it off.
Looking around, she went into the living room. She walked to the window and peeked around the curtain and moved a blind up. It was light outside and she could see kids her age standing at a bus stop. Most of them were teasing each other and a couple others stood off to the side, looking tired and annoyed.
As much as she had hated school before being kidnapped, Macy would give anything to go back. She would even take the kids who had bullied her. Not only did Chester make them look like scared mice in comparison, but Macy had grown in her confidence. She had survived much more than she ever would have thought possible. She could stand up for herself against some insecure teens.
Macy watched the kids across the street. Had they been Heather's friends?
Heather was part of why Chester had gone so far as to keep their presence hidden from the neighbors. She was locked away at the local mental hospital because of everything Chester had put her through. If Macy was seen, people would know something was up. It was too risky.
Even Chester only went out at night, when he was certain no one would see him. His truck was hidden away in the garage, which had coverings over the windows. Rebekah never left the house either. She was mad about being ripped from the community, and wanted nothing to do with the world.
Macy also knew Rebekah had a warrant out for her arrest from her days in a band. She knew better than to ask Rebekah about it, but she couldn't help wondering if that played into her refusal to leave also.
A noise behind Macy startled her and she jumped back, putting the curtain back in place.
"Do you miss your friends, Heather?" Chester asked. He tied his bathrobe, looking nonplussed.
"Something like that." Pretending to be Heather had become a natural part of life. She no longer wanted to scream that she wasn't Heather.
"Maybe someday you can go outside again and see them," Chester said, referring to the kid
s outside. "But for now, we have chores. Your true mom is tired from the pregnancy, so you're going to have to do her chores today. Can you handle that?"
Macy held back a groan. "No problem." Doing the extra chores was a small price to pay if it meant keeping Chester's temper at bay.
Macy had expected him to be even angrier with her than he always was already about them being kicked out of the community, but he hadn't been any worse since being in the house. Rebekah was the one who had changed. She had been so kind to Macy before, but now the resentment was all over her face.
"Why don't you start with making breakfast?" Chester asked, his voice cheery. "Then you can take your mom hers in bed."
Macy went to the kitchen. In her real family, breakfast meant either cold cereal or something frozen stuck in the microwave, but living as Chester Woodran's fake daughter, it meant a huge production.
Macy would have to make waffles or pancakes from scratch and then make some kind of complicated egg dish—scrambled, which was easy, was not allowed. The whole thing would make a huge mess, taking her more than an hour to cook and then clean everything. Although she was glad to have electricity again. Living in the world, they weren't stuck with the community's insane rules.
The shower sounded as Macy gathered the ingredients. At least she would be left alone for a little bit. Even when Chester wasn't being a jerk, he talked nonstop. He never had anything interesting to say, but he had no shortage of things to rattle on about. Macy knew his thoughts on politics, farming, the news, how people treated him, what life had been like as a child, and a plethora of other topics.
She was sure he loved the sound of his voice so much he had to force others to listen to it also. It might not be so annoying if he wasn't so insistent his opinions were right and anyone who disagreed was wrong.
By the time Chester came into the kitchen again, Macy had everything on the table.
"That smells delicious, Heather. Why don't you grab a tray and take a plate in for your mom?"
Macy's chest tightened. She knew once she got into the bedroom, Rebekah's hate would be felt from across a room.
"Did you hear me?" Chester asked.
"Yes." Macy turned around and went through a couple cabinets until she found the tray he was talking about. She put a plate and silverware on and then filled everything.
She turned around and faced Chester, hoping he would take it into the room instead.
"What are you looking at me for? Take it in to your mom. Be sure to tell her you hope she feels better."
"Okay." Macy did her best to ignore the knots twisting in her stomach. She squeezed the tray and made her way back to Chester and Rebekah's room, dragging her feet. If he said anything about her speed, she would blame it on her leg. He couldn't say anything about that since he was the one who had injured her.
Macy steadied the tray and held her breath, bracing herself. She would go in and out as fast as possible. Maybe Rebekah would even be asleep or at least pretend to be asleep to avoid Macy.
Unfortunately, Rebekah was sitting up with the light on. She was reading what appeared to be a book from the community. Not that she had read anything else that Macy had ever seen.
Rebekah looked up from the large book and shot Macy a disgusted look.
"I've got some breakfast for you." Macy tried to smile, but it didn't quite work.
"Just set it on your dad's side. It won't fit over my belly any more."
Macy nodded, not making eye contact. She walked around to the other side of the bed and pushed the tray closer to her. "I hope you feel better."
"Sure you do."
The words stung. Macy looked at her. "You know, it wasn't my intention to get you kicked out of there. I'm sorry."
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does," Macy said. "We used to get along and—"
"What I meant was that it won't get me back in there. Our entire family has been permanently banned. Jonah, Eve, and the other prophets made that abundantly clear."
"That's not the end of the world. The—"
"Please just go. You're stressing me out."
Macy shook her head and left the room. Why couldn't Rebekah see that the community was a cult? They would probably end up having some mass suicide at some point. She had read in school about that happening to other groups like that.
She went back to the kitchen to find Chester eating. "Is your mom resting?"
"Yes."
"Good. You'd better eat, because we have a lot of chores to do today."
Macy grabbed some food and ate. It should have bugged her that she was comfortable with everything, but it didn't. As much as she wanted to get back to her family, somehow life with Chester and Rebekah had settled into a form of normalcy, even though it sucked. But even when Chester was being nice, it was only so he could catch her off guard when he later snapped.
At first, Macy had been hopeful when he was being nice, but it hadn't taken her long to figure out that it was like the calm before the storm. His politeness made her more nervous than when he was stomping around, complaining.
He set his fork on the plate. The noise startled Macy.
Chester looked into her eyes through his big, ugly glasses. "Today we're going to deep clean. Forget about the laundry and all the other daily chores. Start with the kitchen and then do the bathrooms. By then it should be lunch and we can see how you've done. I'll be in my study."
Macy nodded, biting back a comment. It wasn't fair that she had to do all the work, but she knew better than to say anything. The last thing she needed was to find herself back in the barn or locked back up in Heather's room. Even though she didn't have much freedom, she could at least walk around the house.
She was going to get out. Even though Chester kept the alarm on at all times to keep her in, she had a much better chance of getting away here than she had anywhere else. Back at the farm, they were miles away from the nearest people—and that house had been tight with security as well. The community that had proven deadly to escape.
Chester slammed his hands on the table, scaring Macy. "Stop daydreaming and get to work."
Discovery
Macy finished scrubbing the floor in the dining room and then took the supplies back to the laundry room. On her way back, she stopped in the hall, hearing Chester's voice. At first she thought he was talking to her, but then she realized he was on the phone in his study. He wouldn't talk to her in there—he wouldn't let her near the only room with a computer.
She looked up and down the hall, making sure Rebekah wasn't in sight. She pressed her ear against the door, trying to hear what he was saying. It was too muffled to make out more than a couple words in a row. He had to have been trying to speak low, because the way his voice traveled, she could usually hear him from across the house.
He sounded irritated, but that was nothing new. Macy couldn't help being curious. She hadn't heard him talking with anyone since they came to the house months ago. He'd been doing his best to recreate the community by keeping them all secluded from the outside. The only difference was they had electricity.
The only times he left the house were at night to buy supplies as he called them. Usually, only groceries, but the way he made such a deal about going out to get them, he had to call them supplies. Like he was a top level spy.
Something slammed in the study and Macy jumped. She ran down the hall on her tip-toes. If Chester was irritated, then she really didn't want him finding her eavesdropping. She went back to the dining room to check the floor for wet spots from mopping. There weren't any that she could see, but she needed to look busy if Chester came by. Her heart still raced and she forced herself to look natural.
A few minutes passed without him returning, and she relaxed. Macy stopped drying the already-dry floor and stood, looking around. There wasn't any noise. She didn't know where he was, but she needed to keep cleaning.
Macy went to the cabinets and dusted, taking down each piece of fine China with care. When she replace
d the last one, she turned around and saw Chester watching her. She held her breath, not wanting to show him how startled she was.
He folded his arms and curled one side of his lip. He was giving her such a subtle smirk that it was worse than an outright one. "I have to go somewhere for a little bit."
"In the light?"
"Don't speak unless spoken to. Keep an eye on your mom. She's sleeping now, but she'll probably need something when she wakes. Also, I want you to clean the living room next."
Macy sighed, forcing herself to stay silent. She was exhausted. She'd been deep cleaning for hours and wanted a break. Her body ached, especially where her leg had been injured.
"Is there a problem?"
"No."
"Good. Get to work and don't forget to check on your true mom. And if I'm not home, do you know when to start dinner?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Get to work." He turned around and walked toward the front door. Macy could hear him punching in the code for the alarm. He was making a production of it to get the point across. They both knew the threat of the barn was as real as it always had been.
Macy looked over at the living room in disgust. How could he expect her to keep deep cleaning without a break? He had barely given her any time to scarf down the lunch she made everyone.
Sweat ran down her forehead and she wiped it with the back of her hand, finding it stuck to her hair. She probably looked horrible, not that it mattered. She grabbed the rags from around the room and took them to the laundry, starting another load.
She grabbed some more supplies and went into the hall. Something caught her eye. Macy stared down the hall, trying to figure out what was out of place.
Then she saw it. The door to Chester's study wasn't closed all the way. Was it a trap, or had he let his guard down? She went back to the dining room and looked around for him. He appeared to still be gone. She had heard his car leave the garage, and the fact that he had left while it was still light showed that something was wrong.