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  Walking into the bar, she was glad to see it was busy. No one paid any attention to her.

  There was only one available table way in the back. She couldn't have asked for anything more. She sat down and watched everyone while she waited for the waitress. There were several lively games of pool going on as well as plenty of TVs with different sports to choose from. There were also quite a few loud conversations, with people who had already had too much to drink. It was no wonder that Rusty came to this bar. He probably made a fine living towing drunks home.

  The same waitress from months earlier made her way to Alyssa's table, again chewing a big wad of gum. She listed off the specials for the night, holding a pad of paper and a pen. Alyssa noticed her name tag said Sela.

  "Do you still have the fishbowl drinks?"

  "Yeah, but they're not on special. Have you tried—?"

  "I'll take a fishbowl. I don't care what it costs."

  "Fishbowl it is." She wrote on the paper. "Anything else?"

  Alyssa remembered the nachos not going over so well. "Surprise me with your favorite appetizer."

  The waitress smiled and nodding, writing. "Sure thing." She walked away.

  Yawning, Alyssa hoped the food and drink would help to wake her up. It was late and she hadn't slept well since Macy disappeared. Hopefully tonight she could forget all about everything and finally get the sleep she needed. She watched the nearest game of pool, trying to convince herself it was interesting.

  Sela brought over a fishbowl and set it on the table. "The food's still cooking."

  "Thanks, Sela." She grabbed the straw and drank as fast as she could. Feeling warm, Alyssa took her coat off. She wanted to take the itchy hat off, but she didn't want anyone to recognize her. Especially Rusty. Maybe she would be lucky and he was driving drunks home from a different bar that night.

  Just as she emptied the fishbowl, Sela came with a steaming plate. From Alyssa's angle, she couldn't see what was on it.

  Sela's eyes widened. "Ready for another bowl already?"

  Alyssa pushed it toward her, nodding.

  "I'll get that for you right away." She set the food in front of Alyssa. It looked like a combo platter. It had cheese sticks, onion rings, tiny baked potatoes, egg rolls, quesadilla slices, and little chicken wings. It was enough for two or three, but Alyssa didn't care. Her mouth watered as she tried to decide what to eat first.

  She looked up to say thank you, but Sela had already disappeared. Alyssa picked up an egg roll and bit down. It melted in her mouth. It was even better than the food at her favorite Chinese restaurant.

  When she had a mouth full of a baked potato, Sela arrived with another fishbowl. Not wanting to be rude by not thanking her twice in a row, Alyssa gave her thumbs-up.

  "No problem. Enjoy."

  Alyssa planned to. She finished the potato and then went to work on the new fishbowl. Before long, she was eating, but not even aware of what was in her mouth. She had finished most of the platter, having left all of the cheese sticks. She was used to the kids eating all of those, so it was just habit.

  "You again."

  Looking up, Alyssa saw Rusty standing next to her. It took a moment to register because of her buzz. She wanted to groan, knowing a lecture was coming, but he was so gorgeous she couldn't. The way his curls fell around his face and ears was too much. "Hi, Rusty."

  "Mind if I sit down?"

  "Sure. Have some food. It's the least I can do since you paid my bill last time."

  "Don't forget about the free ride home." He smiled.

  Oh, heavens, that smile. What was he doing as tow truck driver? Alyssa knew she should have been embarrassed, but she couldn't take her eyes off his face.

  Rusty picked up a cheese stick and took a bite. "I've always loved these. I haven't seen you around in a while. I had hoped you were doing okay."

  He had thought about her? Alyssa started to smile, but then remembered her face was everywhere. How could he have not thought about her? She shrugged, not wanting to talk about her life. She had gone there to forget. Or had she actually wanted to see Rusty? There were plenty of bars between her house and this one.

  It was hard to remember why she had come here, although she was more than aware of her fight with Chad. That jerk wouldn't leave the house like a normal husband.

  "What brings you here?" Rusty picked up another cheese stick.

  "Nothing I want to talk about."

  He nodded. "What do you want to talk about?"

  She looked at the platter. "These onion rings. Have you ever tasted anything like them? It's like food from heaven."

  Rusty laughed, the skin around his eyes crinkling. He looked even more beautiful. "They are pretty good." He looked at the fishbowl. "How many have you had?"

  "Only two."

  "Looks like you'll need another ride home then."

  "Oh, seriously."

  He shook his head, his curls bouncing around.

  She waved Sela over. "I'll take another fishbowl."

  "Coming right up." She eyed Rusty and walked off, not giving him a chance to say no.

  "You really think you need a third one?"

  "I came here to forget about life. So, yeah, I do need another."

  "Haven't you forgotten yet?"

  Alyssa shook her head. "I only have a buzz. I need to get plastered."

  "Plastered, huh? Well, I'd better stay here with you then. You mind the company?"

  "Not at all. I could look at you all night." She could feel her face turn bright red. Why had she said that?

  Rusty's face looked a little pink as well. "Okay, I suppose that works. You'll let me tow you home?"

  "I'm just going to sleep in my car. You can tow someone else tonight."

  "You're planning to spend the night in your car—in this neighborhood? Have you lost your mind?"

  "That's pretty much why I came here. To lose it. You know what I mean. To forget everything. Now I'm not even making sense to myself."

  "I can't let you sleep in your car."

  "I told you I'm not going home."

  He nodded and then took the last onion ring. "Manna from heaven."

  Was he trying to distract her? She nodded, faking a smile. "You can drop me off at a hotel. Anywhere but home."

  "We don't have to talk about it. What shows do you like to watch?"

  Alyssa stopped. "I can't remember the last time I watched something."

  "What did you used to watch?"

  Sela dropped off the fishbowl and Rusty looked at her. "We'll get the check now. No more drinks."

  "Sure thing, Rusty."

  Why did Alyssa feel so bad at the mention of shows? Probably because it reminded her of the fact that she hadn't done anything normal in such a long time. Maybe that was part of the reason she felt like getting out of the house—that and the fact that Chad refused to leave.

  She grabbed the bowl and took the longest sip she could manage. Alyssa didn't want to think about home or Chad or anything. Swallowing, she looked at Rusty, feeling a bit dizzy. "So what have you been up to?"

  "Same old. Towing people home to keep them off the streets."

  "Is that all you do? And you do it for free?"

  "Not usually. A man does have to make a living." He grinned. Like a Greek god.

  "Have you considered modeling?" Alyssa asked.

  Rusty raised an eyebrow. "Modeling? No."

  "You could rake in a lot more with that than driving a tow truck. You could always do that for your good deed of the day."

  He shook his head, the beautiful curls jumping around again. "No interest in modeling." How was he still single?

  Alyssa had never looked at another man other than Chad in all their years together, but there was something she really liked about Rusty. Her mind wasn't working clearly enough to figure out why.

  She took another drink.

  "Are you done with that?"

  "It's half full."

  "I'll pay for it if you stop now."

>   Alyssa held up her purse. "I brought plenty of money. I don't need a handout."

  "Think of it as me paying you to stop."

  "You already know I'm not climbing into my car. Not to drive it, anyway."

  "And you're aware that you're going to ride in my truck while I tow your car. I don't want you spreading the manna all over my interior." Did his eyes twinkle, or was that her imagination?

  She smiled. "My stomach feels fine."

  Sela came by with the bill and Rusty took it.

  Alyssa snatched it from him. "I told you I have the money."

  He tapped the table. "If you leave the drink alone, you can pay. Otherwise, I will."

  She raised an eyebrow. "Are you for real?"

  "That's the deal."

  Men. Why were they always trying to control her? First with Chad refusing to leave and now this. "Fine." She shoved the bowl as far away from her as possible. "Happy?"

  "Satisfied."

  Alyssa grabbed her purse and found the pocket with the cash. She pulled out enough for everything plus a tip and then set it on top of the receipt.

  "You ready to go?" Rusty ran his hands through his hair, leaning back.

  "Not really. Why don't we sit here and wait for the alcohol to make its way through me. Then you can leave without having to worry about the free tow."

  "It's not really free. I write it off at tax time. I actually have an appointment with my accountant, so I could use another write-off."

  "You know what I mean."

  "This place is going to close before you're ready to drive safely."

  "I told you I'm not driving."

  "And I'm not letting you sleep in this neighborhood."

  They stared at each other.

  "You're impossible." Alyssa shook her head. Maybe it was a man thing.

  Rusty leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "Actually, you are."

  "Me? You've lost your mind."

  "Nope. It's perfectly sound." He grinned.

  "What are we going to do? Tow me to a hotel?" She shrugged. "Or I could just sleep here."

  "In the bar?"

  "Yeah. Why not?"

  "For starters, they don't allow it. Then we're back to the fact that I won't leave you in this neighborhood in your car."

  "I hope you're able to come up with a good suggestion, because I'm done. I'm perfectly happy sleeping in the car."

  Rusty sighed, looking worn out or perhaps frustrated. He was quiet for a minute before speaking again. "I have a spare room at my house. We actually used it as a guest room, but I haven't had anyone over since the accident."

  She stared at him. "You want me to go back to your place?"

  "It's not like that. I don't want to drop you off at a hotel. I'd feel a lot better if someone was there to watch out for you."

  "I'm not a kid."

  "No, you're not. But I want to make sure you're okay. Last time, you went home to your family. This time, you're refusing. You can even lock the guest room, if you'd feel better about staying there. And it's at the other end of the house from my room. It's either that or I'm taking you home."

  Alyssa frowned. "Do you do this for everyone?"

  His lips curled into a smile. "Never."

  Guest

  Alyssa tripped walking into Rusty's house. It was a lot nicer than she had expected from a bachelor pad. He must have left everything the way his wife had and then hired a cleaning service, because no guy she knew was that tidy. The front room practically sparkled.

  She looked around, taking it all in. It was a sprawling rambler on a large lot. Even though it was dark, and the house too big to see the back yard, she pictured a large play structure where the kids had probably spent hours playing.

  That was probably why he had taken a special interest in her. They had both lost children and that was something that most people couldn't understand. Alyssa sure wished that she didn't. Even with fishbowls full of alcohol, she couldn't truly forget.

  "You have a really nice place."

  Rusty closed and locked the front door. "Thanks. I left it the way Lani left it. She had a real eye for design."

  Alyssa nodded, afraid the alcohol would make her say something stupid. For the first time since ordering, she regretted drinking so much. She didn't trust her mouth, but felt like she should say something nice about his wife. She just didn't dare yet.

  "Are you tired? I can show you to the guest room or I can show you around. What do you feel like?"

  Her stomach squeezed. "Actually, could you show me to the bathroom?"

  "Uh, oh. Follow me." He led her down a hall to the right and pointed to a door. "There you go."

  She nodded a thanks and ran in, closing the door. Alyssa flipped on the light switch and the fan. Hopefully the fan was loud enough that he wouldn't hear her retching. She got to the toilet just in time.

  Ordering food when drinking that much was a waste of time and money.

  When she was finally done throwing up, she splashed water on her face and then found some toothpaste and put some on her finger. She rubbed it on her teeth and then swished it around her mouth.

  After rinsing, she went into the hall and didn't see him. That was a relief. Even though he probably knew she was losing her food—again—at least he had given her privacy. She went down the hall from where she came and saw the front room was empty. Where had he gone? She didn't even know where she was supposed to crash.

  "Rusty?"

  Silence.

  Alyssa's heart rate picked up. What was going on? Maybe coming to his house had been a bad idea. "Are you awake?"

  A noise from the left startled her. Rusty appeared and gave her his gorgeous smile. "Sorry. I decided to use the restroom too. Do you want the grand tour before I show you to your room?"

  Relief flooded her and she smiled back. "That sounds great." It was strange to be alone in a house with a guy other than Chad, but she felt perfectly at ease with Rusty.

  "This way." He went back down the hall and she followed, unable to avoid noticing that he was just as easy on the eyes from the back as the front. She took her gaze off him and looked at the pictures on the wall. It was a shrine to his beautiful family.

  They entered a large, bright kitchen. It was modern and gorgeous. For a moment, Alyssa was jealous, but then she remembered that he was probably quite lonely in such a large kitchen that must have held so many memories.

  Rusty leaned against the island, nearly bumping his head on one of the pots hanging from the ceiling. "Feel free to use the kitchen whenever you wish. If you're hungry, eat. Use whatever looks good." He winked.

  "Maybe I will. I owe you for the tows and now for giving me place to stay."

  "You don't owe me anything. But if you do feel you need to repay me, please consider dropping the alcohol. I told you what I went through after losing my family. Rehab sucks."

  Alyssa held onto her stomach. "No. That's okay. I'm already thinking about finding a new way to deal with my grief."

  "You want some toast or crackers?"

  She shook her head.

  "You're looking pretty green, Mrs. Mercer."

  "Alyssa. Please call me Alyssa."

  "Of course. Would you prefer toast or crackers? Your stomach needs something bland." He indicated for her to sit at the table.

  He wasn't going to take no for an answer, was he? "Crackers are fine." She sat down at the nearest chair.

  Rusty went into the pantry and came out with a white box and opened it, pouring square crackers onto a plate. He set it in front of her and then sat across from her. "Do you need to call anyone and let them know you won't be home tonight?"

  "I made that clear before I left." She picked up a cracker and bit into it, spilling crumbs onto the table. "Sorry."

  "No problem. Anything you want to talk about? I'm all ears."

  She looked into his beautiful eyes. He looked like he actually wanted to listen.

  "People often tell me their troubles as I tow them places. I'm good at
keeping secrets." He gave her a reassuring nod.

  Alyssa let out a slow, deliberate sigh. Did she dare open up? Maybe she should wait to make that decision until after the alcohol had left her system. "I really appreciate you opening your home to me, Rusty, but I'm suddenly exhausted. I hope you're not offended if I just go to bed?"

  "Not at all." He stood up. "Let me show you to your room. It's just down the hall."

  Still feeling the buzz, Alyssa held onto the table as she got up from the chair. She followed him down another hall and ended up facing several doors.

  Rusty pointed to one on the left. "That's another bathroom and the laundry room. And that one," he pointed to the door at the end of the hall, "leads to the back yard. The one behind you is the guest room. Do you need anything? You didn't bring in a bag."

  Alyssa shook her head. "It's in my car."

  "Want me to fetch it for you?"

  "I can get it."

  "No, I'm steadier on my feet. I'll only be a minute."

  "Can't argue with that." She dug her keys out of her purse and handed him the one that went to her car.

  He took off, and Alyssa used the bathroom again. She really shouldn't have drunk that much. There had to be another way to deal with her life. She had been sneaking more of Chad's beers—and she didn't even like beer. He had to have noticed, but hadn't said anything.

  Sighing she flushed the toilet. After washing her hands, she looked around the room. It was as Rusty had described. A full bathroom with a washer and dryer and shelving that held laundry items. She grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water and washed her face. Too bad she hadn't brought her creams, but she hadn't thought that far ahead.

  When she got into the hall, she didn't see Rusty. Maybe she should have told him where the bag was. Her car was an embarrassing mess. She hadn't been taking care of it since Macy disappeared. That was something else that needed to change along with giving up alcohol. She had to get her life back, even though it would never be close to the same again. Living in limbo was done.

  Alyssa went into the room that Rusty had said would be hers for the night. She found the light switch and turned it on. The first thing she saw was her bag sitting in the middle of a queen sized bed. Her keys were on top of the bag.