When Tomorrow Starts Without me Page 25

  "Okay. Just to warn you, traffic's bad. What, Mom? Oh, there's an accident on I-5."

  "Where? I'll try to avoid it."

  "By the train station."

  "Thanks." I start the car and peel out of the parking spot.

  Taking a few backroads helps me to avoid the mess of brake lights I see on the freeway. Not that I save much time with all the traffic lights I come to.

  Once on the freeway, I have to force myself not to see just how fast the engine will go. Getting pulled over isn't an option. It's not like Kenna's in my car. She's in an ambulance, being taken care of by professionals.

  I squeeze the steering wheel. "Fight, Kenna. Fight for your life!"

  Rogan

  Rogan, have a seat."

  I stop pacing and glare at Mom. "I can't sit still. It's killing me that she's in there, and I can't do anything to help."

  She gets up and rests her hand on my arm. "The doctors are doing everything they can, honey."

  "Is that enough?"

  "Sit down and take deep breaths. They'll let you in as soon as she's ready for visitors."

  I pull away. "I can't just sit and wait."

  "Pacing helps, how?"

  "It just does." I walk around the fish tank for what has to be the five-hundredth time.

  "Is Rogan here?" demands a gruff male voice.

  I spin around toward the man.

  Standing in the doorway are Maximo and Elise Ensgate. She barely looks able to stand on her own.

  "That's me."

  They both rush over, asking questions over each other.

  "We should sit."

  Mom throws me a knowing glance.

  Maximo, Elise, and I sit in a quiet corner behind the fish tank and I fill them in on everything as best I can. Elise breaks down and sobs into her husband's chest almost before I get a full sentence out. He holds her close, and they both just listen as I tell them everything I know.

  We're all in tears by the time I'm done. Maximo wipes his eyes. "We never thought we'd see Briar again. I paid every ransom that was demanded for years. The threats kept promising her return, but after a few years it became clear they just wanted our money. I stopped paying, hoping they would return her—one way or the other. It sounds awful, but part of me thought she was dead. I wasn't going to keep forking over funds to my daughter's murderer."

  Elise finally looks up at me. "Why did she want to kill herself after finding out we're looking for her?"

  My chest tightens. "She didn't know that. After everything she's been told, she thought you guys didn't want her. She thought you dumped her off with Merle."

  Elise cries out, then buries herself against Maximo again.

  Maximo's face reddens and his brows come together. "Has that man been arrested yet?"

  I shake my head.

  "He's going to hang! You say his name is what? Merle something?"

  "Merle Mitchell."

  Maximo whips out his phone, taps the screen with his thumbs, and storms out of the room.

  Elise sniffles. "Do you have pictures of Briar?"

  I nod. "She goes by Kenna."

  "Right. But she'll always be my sweet little Briar Bear."

  I go to my photos app and show her the first picture of Kenna. It was from when we were watching the stars, just before she found out Maximo and Elise are her parents. Kenna has a bright smile. She looks so happy and carefree.

  Elise gasps. "She looks just like I did at that age. Can I look at the rest?"

  I hand her my phone and watch as she scrolls through the pictures. I hadn't realized I'd taken so many. My favorites are the selfies of the two of us.

  Elise glances up at me. "She looks really happy with you."

  Not happy enough.

  Maximo returns. "The cops are headed for Merle's place right now. My lawyers are already at work. He's going to face every charge possible."

  A doctor walks over and stops near us. "You're somehow related to Kenna Mitchell?"

  I jump up. "I'm her boyfriend."

  "And we're her parents." Maximo helps Elise up.

  The doctor nods. "She's stable, but still unconscious. We don't know how long she was without oxygen. Those teens who pulled her out were drunk and didn't know how long it had been between her jumping in and realizing she hadn't come up."

  My mind swirls as he continues talking. They don't know if she'll wake up. Or what damage was done if she does pull through. He says something about waiting on some results.

  We follow the doctor through double doors and down a maze of hallways until he stops in front of a door. He pushes it open slowly.

  I want to shove him aside and fling it open.

  The doctor moves aside a privacy curtain.

  My heart jumps into my throat. Kenna's lying motionless on the bed with tubes all over her and a mask over her mouth. The room is too bright and too noisy.

  Her parents and I all bolt for the bed. I hold Kenna's hand as the two of them kiss her face with tears streaming down their faces. They talk over each other, telling Kenna who they are and how much they love her.

  I hope it's true that people in a coma can hear everything. Although, I'm not sure she's actually in a coma. I don't think the doctor used that particular word.

  Elise brushes Kenna's hair with her fingers. "We never stopped looking for you, Briar Bear. Not for a moment. As soon as Rogan called, we headed straight over. Please wake up."

  I hold my breath, hoping against hope that Kenna will pick that moment to pull out of this.

  We all need a happy ending. But will we get it?

  I can't think of anything more tragic than Kenna not waking. Never knowing that her parents were searching for her the entire time. That they wanted her more than she ever could have guessed.

  Kenna

  I'm floating through nothingness. Everything is dark except for the memories that appear below every so often. I've watched everything in the opposite order.

  It started with the drowning. Even without knowing how to swim, my body fought to survive. I flew down through the lake, water stinging my nose and eyes.

  I made it to the bottom, and my feet got tangled in the seaweed and branches on the lake's floor. My lungs felt like they were going to burst. Even though I was at peace, knowing all my pain would soon end, my body betrayed me.

  My feet kicked and pulled, finally gaining freedom from the weeds. Then my arms turned on me, swinging around and bringing me closer to the surface.

  I swallowed water as my mouth tried to draw in air.

  Then everything turned black.

  That's when I started floating where I am now. I watched happy times with Rogan and also the horrible times. The memories wouldn't allow me to see anything from Tiana's party.

  Even now, I'm denied knowing what really happened. Not that there's much time to dwell on that. I try to look away as scene after scene plays of high school, of life with Merle, Liz, and Theo. All the way back to Caroline abandoning me.

  Will I get to see my birth parents leaving me too?

  Everything is so black.

  Whispers sound in the distance. Probably people talking about me behind my back. What else would it be?

  I want to see my oldest memories. Then I can finally have peace.

  The darkness won't lift. No light shines anywhere. No scenes play down below.

  Nothing.

  I just float.

  Toward what?

  Out of nowhere, a bright light explodes into view. It nearly blinds me. It also takes away whatever's keeping me suspended in the air.

  I'm falling. I can feel the wind blowing on me. Forcing my hair above my head.

  I stop. Almost like I landed on something, but I'm floating again.

  Now a scene materializes in front of me. A little girl playing in her front yard with her mom.

  No. That was me and my real mom.

  She's the same woman from the TV. The two-colored eyes man's wife.

  Maximo and Elise Ensgate re
ally are my parents. I had my doubts, but now I'm sure it's the truth.

  The little girl and her mom are playing princess in the thick green grass. They're laughing and riding imaginary unicorns.

  Then a phone rings on the porch. The mom runs to answer it, then turns to the little girl. "Stay right there, Briar. Mommy has to grab a paper."

  "Okay, Mommy." She smiles and turns back to her invisible unicorn.

  As soon as her mom disappears inside, a man appears on the sidewalk. It's a younger version of Merle. "Hello, little girl."

  She stares wide-eyed at him.

  "Can you help me find my kitty?"

  "I'm not supposed to go anywhere with strangers."

  "But my kitten might be hurt."

  The girl pauses.

  Merle steps closer, still not on the grass. "My little kitty gets so scared when I'm not around. I'm so worried about her. I can't find her on my own. I need help."

  The girl glances back toward the house. "I don't know."

  He extends his hand. "We'll be back before your mommy knows you even left. She'll never know."

  "Uh…"

  "Think of my frightened kitty. You can help!"

  "Okay."

  I try to yell. To stop her—me—from going with that monster. The liar.

  As soon as she steps onto the sidewalk, he grabs her, covers her mouth, and runs. She kicks and squirms, but she's no match for the man.

  I remember the terror as I realized the mistake I'd just made. It overtakes me again now, floating next to the memory.

  Something else fills me. Something warm and good.

  It's hope.

  My parents didn't abandon me.

  I'd abandoned them.

  Just as Merle shoves the young version of me into a van, the scene dissolves.

  A woman in white appears. She holds out her hand. "Come with me."

  Rogan

  Several machines all start screaming at the same time. I stare at the various monitors. They're flashing, but I don't know what any of it means.

  Except the flat line. I know what that one means.

  My heart shatters into a million pieces.

  I turn back to Kenna and squeeze her hand. "Come back to us!"

  Elise clings to her, shaking.

  Doctors and nurses burst into the room.

  The doctor who brought us in glares at me. "Everyone out!"

  I can't move from her.

  All the medical personnel push us out of the way and start to work.

  I stare, never having felt so helpless in my life. Somehow, I end up out in the hallway with Elise and Maximo. She collapses against him.

  A nurse races by us but stops just long enough to order us back to the waiting room.

  My mom and sister are both asleep, leaning against each other in a couple chairs near the aquarium.

  We sit near them, and Elise remains attached to Maximo. Nothing feels real. It's like I'm detached from the whole situation. I should be crying, like Elise. All I can do is shake.

  Kenna can't go like this, not thinking her parents didn't want her. Not thinking I would be better off without her. Not thinking any good could come from this.

  The world would never be the same with her gone. My world wouldn't.

  That's when the tears let loose. I bury my face in my palms and sob as the heart-wrenching pain stabs me throughout my body.

  At some point, a palm rests on my back, warming the iciness that's taken over. I pull myself away from the pain and see Sutton sitting next to me, her face tear-stained.

  "Is she…" Sutton clears her throat. "…gone?"

  "They're trying to save her."

  Sutton leans against me, and we cry together.

  Why won't the doctors come back out and tell us what's going on? Either way, I need to know what's happening.

  I glance over at Kenna's parents. Maximo is running his hands through Elise's hair, whispering to her. This has to be a nightmare for them, having searched for her for so long, only to find her now. Like this.

  Maximo pulls out his phone and reads the screen. After a moment, he turns to Elise. "Her kidnapper has been arrested."

  Elise doesn't respond.

  I can't, either. It doesn't feel like justice. Merle should be put away for murder if Kenna doesn't pull through. Part of me wishes he was still in his recliner, so I could give him his just desserts.

  Not that it matters. It wouldn't bring her back.

  Why hadn't I done more to save her? If only I'd checked her bed to make sure she was actually there. If I'd found the note sooner, we could've stopped her. Saved her.

  I'll never forgive myself if she doesn't make it.

  Sutton turns to me. "You gave her happiness she never knew existed. You showed her love when she'd never really experienced it." She glances over at Maximo and Elise. "Well, not that she could remember."

  "For all the good it did." My voice cracks. "It wasn't enough."

  "If all that other stuff didn't happen, it would've been. She started out with a huge hole in her heart. In time, the love you two share could've repaired it. But between her past and all the stuff with Tiana and the haters online, it was too much for her."

  "It's my fault."

  "What?" Sutton's brows knit together. "Are you crazy? You were the one thing holding her together."

  "I introduced her to the band, which thanks to Lathe, included Tiana. I also gave Kenna her phone. She's not used to the online world and its cruelty. I'm the one who did this to her."

  "All you wanted to do was to help."

  Ashton and Poppy appear. She turns to me. "Is Kenna okay?"

  "They're trying to save her."

  Poppy throws herself against Ashton and sobs.

  I slink down in my seat.

  Sutton grabs my chin and turns my head toward her. "You didn't do this, do you hear me?"

  I can't respond because the doctor is now standing between me and Kenna's parents.

  He glances at me before turning to them. "We've stabilized her, but you might want to say your goodbyes. I don't know how much longer she's going to hang on. I'm really sorry."

  I'm frozen in place. Elise sobs, clinging to her husband all the more.

  Maximo rises, helping her up. "You heard the doctor. We'd better make the most of this." He turns to me. "You coming?"

  "Yeah." I rise, though I don't know how I manage with everything crumbling around me.

  Sutton squeezes my hand and Ashton throws me a sympathetic look, then I follow Maximo and Elise back to Kenna's room. Everything is quiet. Too quiet.

  My body aches. My heart is broken beyond repair. The lump in my throat makes it so I can barely breathe. I just want to wake from this nightmare. But I'm already awake.

  The two of them crowd around Kenna, talking to her and holding both of her hands. I stand back, giving them all the time. They have years and years to make up for before she slips away.

  I lean against the wall, hardly able to believe that's the truth. Kenna has to pull through. She has so much to live for. The three people in the room want nothing more than to shower her with enough love to make her forget about all her miserable years growing up.

  Maximo rises and gestures for me to come over. "You deserve to say your goodbyes too, son. From the sounds of it, you gave our daughter love when nobody else would."

  The lump in my throat explodes, and with it, tears run down my face again. I hurry over to Kenna, kneel, and take her hand. "Kenna, I hope you can hear us. We need you to come back to us." I lean my head against her shoulder before I can continue. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, and I'll never love like this again. Something like this, it only comes around once in a lifetime."

  Maximo walks over to where Elise is, and they both speak to Kenna over each other.

  Kenna's hand squeezes mine.

  I stare at it, speechless. Did I really just feel that? I squeeze her hand back, hoping she'll respond.

  "Briar just squeezed my hand
!" Elise turns to Maximo. "Our little girl is still with us."

  "She squeezed mine too." I kiss Kenna's cheek. "Come back to us! If anyone can prove those doctors wrong, it's you!"

  Her eyelids flutter.

  My heart skips a beat.

  "Did you see that?" Maximo pulls some hair from Kenna's eyes. "Briar, open your eyes!"

  "Briar Bear," Elise begs.

  Kenna flutters her eyes again, this time more dramatically.

  I squeeze her hand. "We're here, Kenna. Wake up. Please!"

  Nothing.

  Then her shoulders move. Her hand clenches hard on mine. She juts her jaw. Flutters her lids again.

  Her eyes open.

  Relief washes through me. I've never been so happy to see her beautiful brown irises.

  I'm only vaguely aware of Elise and Maximo saying something. The one thing I can focus on is Kenna. She's actually awake.

  "Rogan."

  I throw my arms around her as best I can. "Stay with us. Your parents are here. I found them, and they've been looking for you your whole life."

  "I know."

  "You know?" I move aside, and as soon as I do, Maximo and Elise nearly smother her with hugs and kisses.

  I watch, hoping this isn't all a dream. Now that Kenna's awake, does that mean she's in the clear? She's going to be okay?

  "I'm sorry I went with the kidnapper," Kenna says. "I never meant to leave. He tricked me."

  "It's not your fault." Elise squeezes her again. "I never should've left you in the front yard alone. I felt safe since we live in a gated community, but I never should've let you out of my sight. I've never forgiven myself."

  Maximo kisses Kenna's forehead. "The important thing is that you're here now. We have a lifetime to make up for. And as soon as you're up to it, we're bringing you home. We're going to update your room and throw you the biggest party you've ever seen."

  Kenna turns to me. "Can Rogan come?"

  Elise's eyes shine with tears. "Of course he can. He's a hero, and we'll give him anything he asks for. He brought our baby back to us."

  Kenna squeezes my hand. "He definitely is a hero."